Prescriptions

            I am an examiner. Like today, I examined a pharmacist. Without trying, I noticed his face first. I noticed his actions second and his tone of voice third. My mind intermingles all of those variables, which eventually leads into judgments of the one being examined. Do they look happy? Examining the way their eyes shift from one task to the next. Is this what they wanted in life? Most people can just pick up their prescriptions, and be on their way, not this girl. I think about the work that is required of big money making positions. They study long nights and sleep little throughout their college years. They rack up debt that gnaws at their arms until they land a job capable of repaying it. It could be their dream job, and everything they ever wanted. It could also be exactly what I fear. It could be just a mode of transportation out of debtville.  If this is true, what occupies their minds at work? Surely they aren’t enjoying it. They spend the majority of their time in a large building echoing with clicking heels and stone serious faces. Everybody wears gray. There is money to be made, bills to be paid and your wasting my time so please step aside.

            This image makes me ponder my own life. The last thing I desire is to be eaten alive by a large corporation searching for its lost stapler. The corporations inside buildings that are smashed close together on busy streets with circling doors. Yellow car paint swims the river of chaos and honks when someone throws it off. Coffee is no longer a delicate drink seen connecting two old friends. In the business world, coffee is the lifeline to staying awake for the next eight grueling hours. Maybe it’s not like this in real life. Some people thrive in this environment. I need more oxygen and freedom. I need smiles and laughs and simplicity.  If I worked for a large corporation, I would probably escape out the back door (often) and go find a trail to hike or bike or run away. Probably wouldn’t last long. This is the business world from my own eyes. It’s like a foggy lens that gives me a headache. Just like the headache I receive from not wearing my glasses. My eyes try to focus and register what’s ahead, and fail so many times that it begins to hurt. I would drink lots of coffee too if I had a constant headache. On the light side, thank God for those that like being in this environment. They are needed to make the stock market run and whatnot. If they can pack in the hours at work, accomplish much and still enjoy time at home, that’s a feat. Give that parent a cape!

            For me, it’s not going to happen. But I am still in college, racking up debt just like the businessman. My thinking renders plainer. I see positions uncreated. I see opportunities unmade. I see people unmet. Maybe what I am meant to do isn’t created? Nobody can make my position. I desire to be surrounded by happy people that laugh at your jokes and joke back. To be surrounded by fresh air where anxiety cannot reach. I wish to actually enjoy every stage of life, not just the first stage of young freedom. I want to tackle the mission of being motivated in hard work towards goals that are rewarding and pleasant. Nobody is going to take my stapler.