The Desert is a Mirror

       It has been one year already. I have spent more time in a tent (by a loooooong shot) than in a bed. Maybe even more time spent sleeping on a tarp under the desert sky than actually sleeping in a bed. Breaking this thing down into weeks, I’ve spent twenty-two weeks wandering the desert with teenagers that wish to be anywhere else besides there. Well, that’s how they feel for the first few weeks. Something beautiful happens at around week 5. For some, it happens before and for others, it happens later.

        This is what happens: they fall in love with the desert.

        The desert is reflection of God the Artist. Every sunrise paints a new wave of fuchsia that gives way to the bold brightness of the sun. Every sunset is like the grand finale of a firework show that reveals the most perfect combination of calming hues. I’ve spent many nights sitting by students pointing out our favorite colors found in the sunset sky. “Oh I like that purple shade over there!” “I like that redish, pinkish, yellowish hue!” Some nights the entire sky is lit up with a shade of pink that illuminates the clouds and reflects on the canyons surrounding us.

           One could wonder, why does it take these teenagers 5 weeks to notice all the beauty of the desert? One of my students said something quite profound. It was my first shift. She was graduating in four days, and had spent 96 days in the desert. She said, “The desert is a mirror”. I sat there amazed, processing the hundreds of ways that the desert is a mirror. It’s a reflection of us, creation.

             When students arrive, they only see the harshness of the desert. Intense winds, sagebrush covered ground, unrelenting heat in the summer and cold in the winter. No bathrooms, running water or electricity. No Starbucks. I hear a lot of comments to the effect of “This place sucks”. Something interesting is happening within them at that particular moment; they are unsatisfied. They have been sent to a wilderness therapy program (against their own will) to work on the filthy things in their lives such as addiction, self-hatred, depression and disrespect towards others. Icky, Icky, Icky things that nobody enjoys revealing about themselves, especially not facing the problem to change it.

            Most of the teens resist accepting the fact that they are here. They struggle to admit that they need help. It’s not an easy task. Over those first 5 weeks, after realizing that it’s only you out here to work on yourself, along with everybody else, his or her mindset transforms. They begin to glance outside of themselves and notice a much bigger world beyond their own issues. They, at first, may notice just one daisy popping through the rock-covered ground. Then they wonder what stories the once lava filled canyons could tell, if only they could speak. They stare off at the sunset during group at night with eyes of understanding. In that way, the desert becomes their home. A beautiful home.        
        And it is also in that way, they come to realize their own beauty. They have no mirrors to stare into at their physical appearance and ridicule every piece of their imperfect bodies and faces. No billboards to remind them of what they could look like, if only they skipped a meal or two a day. No temptation of drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of all the hurt that’s pounding within them. 
       Just the reflection of a real place that reflects real beauty and real pain.