What the lady with the knitted purple hat taught me

It was around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, a woman walked in the south facing door of Hailey Coffee Co. She wore a knitted purple hat, knitted scarf and a full length fur coat. She walked up to the counter and asked about our zucchini bread.

"How gooey is this bread?"
Not sure how to respond, I said she should order it and try it.
She does.
She takes a bite, and as she chews, she smiles and nods her head in approval.
"That's good. I'll have a honey latte too, please."

We continued to chat, even after I gave her her drink. Then, she turned to leave.

There are two steps from the coffee bar to the door. She stepped up on the first step, and then put her hand out to stabilize herself against the wall.

She turned around and said "You're a really beautiful girl. I want to be young and beautiful again."

After making this statement, she kind of just stared at me. Longingly. She was truly a beautiful older woman, with a crown of white curls peeking out from under the purple knit hat. Her face had many wrinkles. They were winkles of happiness and laughter; her eyes held a history filled with the tears of a passionate heart.

I responded, "You are!"

That was yesterday. Today I sit in that same coffee shop, this time as a customer. Just five minutes ago, I head a conversation between two old men. It was all muffled because I have headphones in, but I heard one sentence very clearly.

He said, "Oh to be young again. You know, if I could go back... I would probably do things differently."

They say wisdom comes with age. I think we can gain wisdom from those with age.

 For those of us that are still "young", we have something that is very delicate. We have time, energy and youthful bodies. After that woman with the purple knit hat left, I thought about all the poisonous thoughts I have in a day.

You're not good enough.
He probably wants to be with her.
Your dreams are unattainable.
You're too fat.
You're too stupid.
You're too slow.
You've already messed it up.
You should be more successful.
You were never important.
You're a disappointment.
You're a burden.

It all needs to STOP.

We need to stop feeding into negative thoughts, and allowing them to disrupt our happiness, relationships and our lives.

The reality is that we keep ourselves in bondage. Nobody else does.

When we have negative thoughts, our brains latch on to that experience. Our fight or flight mode kicks in and our brains try to solve the issue. Negative thoughts are stored in the amygdala part of the brain. This part of the brain, if not fought with positivity, will create highways of negativity. This results in stress. We all deal with stress differently: over-eating, under-eating, worrying, etc. Then there is the thalamus. The thalamus sends sensory and motor signals to the body. The thing about this part of the brain is that it doesn't know the difference between actual danger and perceived danger (negative thoughts). As a result, our bodies experience actual stress symptoms such as a rapid heart rate, and intense breathing. This is also the part of the brain that leads to panic attacks. Negative thoughts have a real affect on the body. They have a real affect on our lives.

You can see that we are intricately designed. What will it take for us to see what someone else sees in us? How many days will we waste being beautiful on the outside and sickly twisted on the inside?

Positive thinking takes time and practice.

I am no expert at this and it's a daily battle. But I want to live a full life and our life depends on it. Literally. I am writing this to encourage all my friends that are living with regret and hate towards themselves. It's time to let go, and start building highways of positivity. We need to change internally before we can change externally.

"Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." - Charles R. Swindoll