Banana Pancakes
Well,
on April 26th, I awoke in a complete sweat. (My original return
date) Homesickness and worry hit me like a bat whacking a baseball. It was
early in the morning, so I decided to go for a walk. Taking swift steps, I
began praying and convincing myself that I had made the correct decision. If
you’ve seen the Disney movie Tangled, the scene following her rebellious decision
to leave the tower was quite similar to my experience- complete happiness and
joy to regret and anxiety. One moment she is flying around a tree yelling out,
“ This is the best day ever!!!” and then the scene cuts to her laying facedown
in the grass crying out, “I’m a horrible person!”
I
thought I could shake the nauseating thoughts off during the walk, but they
decided to keep me company for the rest of the day. These feelings hadn’t surfaced
once during my stay, and all of a sudden I was drowning in them. I talked to my
housemates, and we decided that making American pancakes would get my mind off
the negatives. We mixed up a thick batter of banana pancakes and layered on
peanut butter, honey and cinnamon. Singing along to Jack Johnson, the
nervousness would cease and then pop up again like an intruder creeping outside
the kitchen window. I also received some valuable wisdom from a couple good
friends back home and Mom of course. The worries that settled on my mind are
not worth the sweat. They fizzled down to money, school, and work. And the fact
that I miss people from home intensified the flavors of uncertainty.
In
contrast, the other American student flies out tomorrow evening. We have grown
very close over the past couple of months and it’ll be real sad to see her go.
Although, her heart is definitely here in Africa… and we all know that she will
return. I can’t really explain how amazing it’s been to have her here. The past
couple of days have been filled with excitement, celebration, sadness and all
the mixed emotions that tag along. I knew that choosing to stay would
definitely stretch me, and it sure is! This means I will have heaps of more
stories and experiences to share when I return home. God’s faithful and I know
he is my comforter. A couple of nights ago, I awoke in the middle of the night.
This time- instead of breaking out in an anxious sweat, I felt a perfect peace
wash over me. Then, I smiled and fell back asleep. It’s like Jesus just woke me
up to say, “This is my peace that
surpasses all understanding.”
Marching
forward on this South African journey… Part II :D
Love
and MISS you all!
 |
| Coffee Solves Everything. |
xoxo
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