Day 10 - My shirts inside out.

Thursday, February 20 2013

            View from the house we visited… so much better in real life.

Yesterday’s blog was not happening. It was the end of the day, and the girl I live with came to pick me up. I was exhausted, but it was different from the typical exhaustion. Yes, physically, I was a bit tired, but this was more than physical. We drove home and my mind was absent from the current situation. I was thinking about what had happened earlier at CATCH. That night, we went to a braai at her parent’s house, which is like a barbecue. I was still absent-minded. I apologized for my lack of social interaction, but I couldn’t forget about earlier. As I stared down at my sleeves, she asked me what was wrong. I replied, “My shirts inside out”. Her and her husband (which have become like siblings to me) laughed, and then said, “It’s just been one of those days?” I began to tear up again.

            Earlier that day, there was a special meeting at CATCH. Several NGOs/NPOs in the area met at CATCH to talk about their work. Each organization shared what they have seen, done, the people they have helped and the issues they’ve run into. The information shared during this portion captured my heart and wouldn’t let it go. I listened as each member talked about the corruption in medical clinics, schools and law enforcement. Silence covers many injustices. I’m sure this information should not be shared. The meeting lasted over two hours long. I thought about what the children see. What they hear. How they are treated. During boys club this week, we used large boards with topics written on them. The topics included: HIV/AIDS, rape/child protection, TB, smoking, and bullying. Each child received a sticker. Then, they placed the sticker next to the topic they desire to know more about. These children are nine years old.

            Sitting in the meeting, I thought, these kids shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. It didn’t sit well with me. Also, we received large donations of bread from donors that morning. After the meeting, I asked if we could go into the village and hand out bread. I was informed that we would be mobbed. I felt helpless. It was actually embarrassing, I just ugly cried. Two women tried to comfort me, telling me that we will go out sometime and we just need to be tactful about it. I cried. One woman said, “Honey, that’s the heart of God, that’s the compassion he has for these people.” I just cried and cried. I couldn’t get over it. I went into another room and cried. I went for a run and it rained. Then I went home, took a shower, and put my shirt on inside out.  

            God desires to break in and rescue every single person in bondage. He desires freedom, healing, and restoration for the little girl, the widow, the homeless man, and the sick boy… God’s heart is so big! It probably hurts him when an ant is crushed. When a grain of sand is crushed. Maybe not those last two, but He cares about us so much! He created us! Asking to see people the way God sees them is quite dangerous. Seeking after God’s own heart does not bring vast fields of waving-in-the-wind daisies. It opens our eyes to the disasters around us; all the hurting and lost souls. I think of my friend Della. I guess we’ll find out if she reads my posts ;)        When she started seeing people the way God sees them, it changed her. Her heart became burdened for the lost souls around her. God opened her eyes to the reality of salvation, and she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t understand.  I feel this way for these people. My heart is burdened for them. God loves them. During girls club, I look around at 100-something girls and see them individually. I wonder if they know they are beautiful? I wonder if they know they are made in His image? I wonder if they know that nobody else in the whole wide world is exactly like them? So I start asking, and receive responses are all over the place. Some say yes with confidence. Others say yes but lack the confidence. And still, some don’t know. It makes me sad that nobody has told them. I am getting quite off course now.

Quick CATCH up before bedtime: It was Lisa’s birthday today!! She traveled with me from America. We ate cake and people sang in Xhosa. It’s a very powerful language. I am working on my internship journals like a good little student. Went for a run and saw a friend, his name is Icanpronounceitbutcannotspellit. Took care of two babies that I didn’t want to let go of. Played on a tire swing with a foster child, who has the brightest smile. I literally lose it with joyful laughter when he smiles. Opened a new jar of peanut butter (yippee!) Thought about people from home and missed them. Thought about life in South Africa and never want to leave. Discovered how to group-Skype with Megan and Ethan. Skyped with Mom and Dad. And now, I’ma turn my fan on and lights out. Sweet Dreams!

xoxo