Whys it gotta be so difficult?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

            I’ve broken three ponytails now. This hair! It’s thicka than a snicka. I started cutting the sleeves off my shirts and using fabric strips. However, I am really enjoying these African braids flowing down around my shoulders. This week, I’m starting to notice more calendars around me. It’s April. My heart sinks as I count the weeks remaining. My flight leaves in three weeks, and here I am feeling cut-off mid sentence by the calendar itself. My mind toys with the idea of giving up everything and staying here. Ultimately, God knows best, so I decided to seek him for the final answer. Well, there was no lightening bolt that struck the ground and burned a definite “yes” or “no” into the grass. God’s grace covers us and I’m so thankful for that. His ability to use us doesn’t depend upon our performance. There is nothing that I can do that will “alter” the way he views me. All that God desires is that we seek him and know him. Whether it’s climbing rock walls and reading textbooks or playing on the monkey bars with little Africans, God asks that I just share His love.

            South Africans are still amazed when I explain to them how much I enjoy it here. They wonder why I would want to come here when everyone else is trying to get to America. I explain that America is a great place but my heart is in Africa, no other way to explain it. In church today, I got my first ‘sly’ shout-out. The Pastor was speaking in Xhosa when I heard him start to mumble his words into the microphone and say ‘mulungu’, which means ‘white person’. I thought THAT’S ME! The congregation looked at me. Then the Pastor said with a smile, “We are happy to see you here”. At this church, I’m still the only white person so it’s pretty obvious. This past week CATCH has been closed down for clubs because the children are on break. This gave me more time to do other things. I Skyped some wonderful people and got all caught up. Had a great chat wit my friend August about missionary hearts, the struggle is real. Of course, the brotha came back with a winning quote from none other than basketball’s own Michael Jordan. Talking about game winning shots. MJ would always imagine making the game winning shot beforehand. It just so happens that he made plenty of those game winning shots. MJ knew how to play some ball, but ultimately, you gotta see it mentally and believe. God places dreams in our hearts, and we need to believe that they will come to pass. The victory has already been won! I need to store that one in the memory bank. See the dream come true and it will become true. I just want to be the mother of Africa, is that so difficult? ;)